How I Planned My Wedding On a Budget: The Break Down

When I started planning my wedding, I took a look at the Pinterest board. (Yes, if you're a man, every woman has the "obligatory wedding Pinterest board." Moving on.) Using my Pinterest board, I was able to do several things: (1) Prioritize, (2) Determine WHAT I wanted in my wedding, (3) Read how other couples planned their wedding on a budget. All that out of Pinterest - and men say it's a worthless app. ;)

(1) By prioritizing what was important to me, I could prioritize where my money went. A DJ wasn't hugely important to me, so an iPod and outdoor speaker worked perfectly (and cost me no money). Flowers were more important to me, as I felt flowers could set the tone a little better for the wedding (colors, theme, etc.). That's where part of my main focus was.

(2) Determining what you want in your wedding is also important. How do you convey to your vendors what you want if you don't know what you want? Consider it an act of kindness for everyone involved. It means that when you meet with your vendors, your time with them is more productive, cutting down on the time they spend talking and increasing the time they spending DOING.

(3) Research it! No one said you had to plan on a budget on your own! Throw away those bridal magazines (unless your budget is $20K) and start searching - online, google, Pinterest, etc. Use other people and their successes as your inspiration! You are NOT alone in planning this wedding on a budget, and there are some GREAT resources out there for you to utilize!

So you've got your Pinterest board FULL of ideas, themes, decor, THE DRESS ideas, floral arrangements, centerpieces, etc. Now what do you do? You've prioritized what's important (Nod your head yes - if you're shaking your head, go back up to the top and start again). We did not break down our budget PER category, we had a total budget in mind. You may prefer to specifically itemize the cost of each category, but we are "free spirits" as Dave Ramsey says.

Wedding Attire:

Photo Credits: Ashleigh Mallard Photography

FIRST (and to me, most important), I found my dress. $500 off the rack. Yes, you read that right. Many bridal stores have huge clearance sales in July and August as they try to clear out inventory from the past year to make room for the new fall styles coming in. Many stores also offer a discount if you purchase the dress off the rack. Ask if you can pay with cash/check (and if so, will they offer a discount), or if you pay in full if they will give you a discount. What's the worst they can say? No. So ask - they might say yes! I bought my dress in July (a year before my wedding) off the rack for $500. It was strapless and I wanted straps for the ceremony (cost me $15 at the bridal store). I had to have it hemmed, and some minor alterations (plus the straps added) for $125. You don't have to use the bridal shop's alterations lady. Sometimes it is safer as they alter gowns all the time. However, I knew a lady that I used for tons of alterations (pants, formal dresses, etc.), and I knew that she would do a great job for a reasonable cost. Ask around! You aren't the only one who's getting married, and you might be able to find someone less expensive than the bridal store!. So, total cost of my dress (dress, straps, alterations): $640. We bought J's suit as it was actually less expensive than renting (and he gets to keep it!). We found a great sale going on at Men's Warehouse. Normally, I wouldn't recommend them as they are fairly expensive, but we got a great deal! J's Suit (tie and shirt!): $250.
Total Wedding Attire for Bride & Groom: $890

Vendors:
Florist: My first piece of advice when it comes to finding the perfect vendor: shop around. I knew for the most part what I wanted for my flowers. I initially called the florist from my first wedding, but he was unavailable. He recommended the florist that had done his wedding (La Petit Fleur). I was a little bummed, but once I met her, I was so happy I had chosen to use her. She was flexible in her pricing, willing to work on a tight budget, and talked me through some ways to cut down on cost. Be honest with your vendors. If they know you're on a tight budget, they won't do an outrageous set up for centerpieces, your bouquets, etc. (That way you can avoid a $4K quote!). I told Corrine what I was looking for, that I was on a tight budget, and asked what she recommended. Many times if you use flowers in season, it will cut down on imports/costs/etc. I wanted Peacock feathers (which cut down on some flowers in the arrangments) and purple/teal Dendrobium Orchids. I wanted to use hydrangeas, which are a little more expensive. BUT Corrine pointed out to me that while they cost a little more, you get more flowers for the dollar. She worked extensively with me to make sure that I got exactly what I wanted on a budget I could afford.
She did: 2 bouquets (mine was a cascade), 4 corsages, 7 boutonnieres, and a throw away bouquet for a total of $500.

Food: For my cake, I wanted one cake (not 2: classic Bridal & Groom cakes). But I wanted to have half the cake iced in white with a lace-like design and the other half to be chocolate with ganache drizzled down the layers. I also needed a gluten-free cake, which really limited my options, as 4 members of my family (including me) are gluten intolerant. However, we were able to find a vendor that was willing to do a gluten free cake within our budget. Total Cost of Cake: $225.

For our dinner, we utilized J's dad (remember in Blog 1 we talked about using family or friends as a resource). He owns a Barbecue restaurant, which is exactly what we wanted for our reception dinner. He was willing to do this for us, at cost (meaning we only reimbursed him what it cost for the food - he made no profit). Total Cost to feed 65 people: $200.

Photography: When looking for photographers, I immediately asked friends for their recommendations. Ashleigh Mallard Photography. I knew Ashleigh as we group up going to church together, and J knew Ashleigh as she had photographed his son's newborn pictures. I contacted her and was upfront about our limited budget. She was willing to cut her wedding package cost IMMENSELY. While it may have temporarily cost her a little money, she has gained loyal customers in us. She didn't skimp on anything with us, despite we did pay her less than she normally would have been paid. We have 2 family photography sessions coming up in the next 2-3 months - with Ashleigh! Total Cost of FULL DAY Photography: $1000.
Unfortunately, this led to photographers that had a base price (for their wedding packages) of around $2500-3000. Not in my price range. So I started researching photographers that I knew personally. While I was a little afraid of mixing business and personal relationships, I figured I would be able to communicate what I was looking for (and be heard) and that I would be able to set up a payment plan (even if it extended a little past the wedding) that would be acceptable. J & I finally discussed it and agreed on using

Hair & Make-Up: I am terrible at doing my own hair. It's just a simple fact of life. I have 3 main hairstyles for work that simply don't cut it for my wedding. While I was willing (and able) to travel to an outside location for hair and make-up, having my hair & make-up done on location took a load of stress off my mind. We utilized Trio Makeup & Hair Designs. I had utilized this group for my first wedding and loved the results. So when I contacted them 4 years later for this wedding, I asked if they gave repeat customers a discount. Fortunately, they were willing to honor their pricing from 2010, when my first wedding took place. That was actually a HUGE discount. For my mom's make-up, my hair & make-up, and my sister's hair & make-up, it cost us a total of $400. While that is more costly than you may be willing to pay, it was a load of my back that they were willing to travel to me on the day of the wedding.

Venues:
Ceremony: The church I grew up in (and was till a member of at the time), provided the facilities for a nominal fee for members. While we did pay for a nursery for children under 5, we still saved a substantial amount of money by utilizing a facility that provided us the same services as other locations with nominal cost. We simply had to cover custodial fees ($150), wedding coordinator fee ($250), sound/microphone fees ($100), candle fees ($60), and nursery cost ($150). While that seems like a lot of nickel-and-diming (and it certainly seemed like it at the time!), it was still less than renting a facility outside of our church. All the fees added up to a ceremony venue cost of: $710. Some churches we looked at started their sanctuary rental fee at $1000!!!

Reception Venue: We decided (after much discussion between J & I, as well as my parents) to utilize my parents' home as our reception venue. While we still had to rent tables and chairs, but it cut down significantly on the rental fee for the facility! While we still paid $1000 for rental fees for tables, chairs, tablecloths, etc., we didn't have to pay for the facility (and we could keep the party going as late as we wanted!).

Total Cost for My Wedding: $4925. (Paid over the course of 13 months)

How I Planned My Wedding On a Budget (And Got Everything I Wanted)

Photos Courtesy of Ashleigh Mallard Photography

Weddings aren't cheap anymore. Whatever happened to the good ole days of having a ceremony with some cake and punch in the Church's gathering hall afterwards? Gone. Now, it's not a reception without an open bar (no judgement - there was an open bar at my first wedding). So when round 2 started (cue boxing bell rings), I knew I was planning a wedding on my own dime. And open bar was NOT the first thing on my mind. So what's a girl to do with a budget of $5000 and LOTS on her wishlist?!

1. Start a Pinterest board. No, seriously. The first few months after J and I got engaged, I started a Pinterest board. It let me see what I was drawn to, looking for, not even paying attention to etc.. It helped me see where my priorities were before I even realized it!

2. Involve your family and friends! Got an aunt who's a whiz at flower arrangements? See if she's willing to help you (for a small price of course!) for the cost of the flowers/vases/etc. Maybe even a little on top to compensate for her time. Your mom has an amazing jewelry collection? See if she'll let you raid it for your special day. Your sister's the bomb at making burlap wreaths and bows? Include her! You get the picture. I'm sure that you are surrounded by talent, so ask if those people are willing to put their talent to use for you!

3. Find hidden resources. The church that J and I got married in has an option for members to purchase flowers for the altar on Sundays. 1 arrangement is $35 (vs. the florist's arrangements at $200 a pop!), so we bought both of the arrangements (only 2 are available). We requested some extra peacock feathers/orchids to match our bouquets/corsages/boutonnieres (and additional $30/vase) for altar arrangements totaling at $130 (for both arrangements!). While we couldn't take the arrangements home with us, as they had to remain in the church for the Sunday morning services, it was a nice price break!

One of our altar arrangements.

4. Shop around. Who says you have to use the first vendor you find? Shop around! If you don't take the time to look and see what is available for what price, you might miss out on a huge budget saver!

5. Give yourself plenty of time. J and I got engaged 13 months before we got married. Why? Well, 2 reasons. (1) So that we could get married the same week as our parents and my grandparents, but (2) so that we could spread out the cost of our wedding without living above our means. We paid a few vendors in smaller amounts for several months, paid them off, then moved on to other vendors! It took more time, BUT it gave us plenty of time to pay every one without struggling to eat, pay the bills, etc.

Next up on the agenda for planning your wedding on a budget: prioritizing, opportune times to book/shop, and finding vendors that work within YOUR means!

5 Pictures to Take This Fall

With fall just around the corner, what better way to celebrate than to take some pictures! The weather is a little more cool (allowing for some adorable boots-leggings-scarves combos), the leaves are changing and falling, and it's prime time for some snuggling (adorably and PG, please!). So while you're wondering what to do about Christmas cards this year or updating the pictures of the kids - look no further!

1. A Pile of Leaves: What better way to bring out the kid in anyone than a pile of leaves to jump in?! Pile the whole family in. Start a leaf-throwing fight with the kids and then move out of the way for some adorable kid pics. OR stay in the frame with hubby for some hilarious pictures! Make "leaf angels," spell out something and lay next to it, or form some leaves in to your kids' ages and have them take a picture next to it so you can remember how old they are! Or just pile some leaves on your kiddo and snap a few shots like below - adorable!

Original Source: Pinterest

2. Fall Leaves Scenery/Backdrop: As we established in post #1 (5 Things to Do in Fall) I love the changing leaves. What better (or more gorgeous) backdrop for some family photos? I think this picture from Pinterest (below) speaks for itself.

Original Source: Pinterest

3. Pumkpin Patch: Is there a better way to represent the fall season? Take your kids, drop them in the middle of a pumpkin patch (one that isn't too crowded) and snap some pics. Maybe even carve one and drop your littlest one in the pumpkin itself!

4. Halloween Costumes: Uh, I think this kind of comes with the answer of a bunch of resounding "Duh"s. While this may seem like a simple one-picture snap and head to trick-or-treating, it's not. Your kids are only little once (Sorry to remind you - again). Why not take an extra 15 minutes to get some extra pictures of your kiddos - to frame or send to Grandma and Grandpa? A painful little reminder that your kids are only little once, so snap some pics (just don't ruin the moment by taking HUNDREDS of pics!).

5. A Flannel Blanket: This is particularly perfect if you have a photo session planned, whether a couples session or family session. To me, nothing says fall more than a cozy flannel blanket (or fleece, if that's more your style!).

Don't want to pay for some pictures?! Grab your kids, your significant other, your pet...step outside and start snapping. We probably take WAY too many pictures of little T, but the best shots are candid pictures! Don't have a fancy $500 camera? No sweat, I don't either. I have a little point-and-click which works great. Have fun! Want to hire a photographer? Start a Pinterest board. That way when you find a photographer you like, you can show them what you have in mind! Be mindful, though. Some photographers really dislike copying images you find on Pinterest, but they may be willing to do their own version of the picture.

Anyways, I hope you get the family outside to enjoy the weather. And maybe get some adorable pictures this fall, too!

Stepping Into Stepmom-Dom: Ripping Off the Bandaid

T is obsessed with wearing bandaids now. And not just while there is a scab. He continues to wear a bandaid on the area until the scar has faded! Want my advice?! Go buy stock in Bandaid brand. I'll single-handedly drive up the stock value just from the amount of Bandaids I buy for this kid. I understand the fear associated with taking a bandaid off while a scab is still in place. What if it hurts? What if it bleeds? As a 4 year old, I can see where that could be scary. What I don't get is the fact that he insists a bandaid stays on once the scab is gone. Anyways, we've been working with him on taking off bandaids for bath time. Can you say "lead balloon?" He's not too thrilled with us, and he generally whimpers and whines through bath time. Then he insists on a new bandaid after he is out of the bath. Frus. Trating.

It did make me stop and think the other night about something, though. As adults, we don't generally apply bandaids to our physical wounds (unless they are really bad). We generally have more emotional scars or wounds - that we don't often deal with. We sweep them under the rug and ignore them, saving the problems and monsters in our closet for another day when we have time to deal with them. We do this without realizing what effect this has on our family, our kids, or even our co-workers. We think we can shove emotion down into the corners of our lives and everyone in our life will be none the wiser. Think again. Kids are incredibly intuitive. I have seen many situations personally where children act like their parents are acting - without the parent even realizing it! When T's mom was uncomfortable around me, T picked up on it. And when I was with J during pick-up or drop-off, T was shy and almost anxious or afraid around me. His mom was never outwardly rude to me, but he sensed her discomfort and mimicked it.

Remember: just because you think you have it under control doesn't mean someone else isn't noticing what you are doing. So please, as a parent, friend, coworker, rip the emotional bandaid off. Take some time. Maybe it's after your kids go to bed one night. Forego the laundry or the dishes or whatever else is on your to-do list, and rip the bandaid off. Then let it go (sing with me now, Frozen fans!). You'll be amazed at how much less stressed you will feel. Isn't it amazing what our kids can teach us?

Stepping in to Stepmom-Dom: A Child-Like Disposition

World's Cutest Pilot.

Today is definitely one of those yucky, rainy Saturdays. We live in a town that literally lives on the lake nearby. Seriously. Even our church has a dock for members who want to boat to church when the weather is nice. So finding something to do on such a nasty day is difficult, especially when we have an energetic 4 year old boy on our hands. Enter INK, or Interactive Network for Kids. This is an incredible place with different "settings" for kids to pretend and play in: hospital, vet's office, fire trucks, barns, police cars, airplanes, lemonade stands, trains, grocery store...the list is endless. T had so much fun running around the different areas and playing with different items. He was all over the place at first, trying to decide what he wanted to do, but he quickly found where he wanted to be (and go next). We spent over 2 hours in there, with T running around (and us trying to keep up!) from place to place.

We wrapped up at INK (after 2+ hours of fun) around 12:45, and all three of us were starving. Enter something quick and easy on a rainy day - Chick-fil-a (or as T calls it, "Cow"). We were surprised that it wasn't more packed than it was during peak lunch hours, but we weren't complaining (and we figured it was due to the weather). We sat down to eat our meal, and as J and I were about to take our first bites, T pipes up: "Guys! We have to say the blessing first." This was a proud moment for J and I as we have been really working with T on saying the blessing before we eat at meals. So I followed up his statement with "OK. So who's going to say the blessing?" He points to me. Gulp. I have always been overly sensitive about not doing things in public that could be portrayed as forcing my religion on someone, whether it's as simple as praying or something as big as pushing flyers into people's hands. That's just not me. And now, here I was with the eyes of the most adorable 4 year old staring at me, waiting on me to say the blessing. Well, what's a girl to do?! You know what we did! We all folded our hands, bowed our heads, and I (yes, me!) said the blessing. It was brief and to the point, but nevertheless, I said it.

This got me thinking over lunch about things. How is it that as children, we are so carefree and mindless to what others think of us or our actions? To T, saying the blessing was what we are "supposed to do," whether at home or in public. What is it about today's society that makes us so aware and afraid of what others will think? It made me wish I could go back to that age, just to have that mindset of "I don't care what other people think I am going to wear my tutu to the grocery store!" It certainly was a nice reminder for me that we need to be ourselves fully without being afraid of what others will say or think. Because being me without fear is....nice! So thank you, T for reminding me to have a child-like disposition and opinion of the people around me. Love, Mer.

Don't Forget Dad!

Today is Father's Day. Yay! I am glad that the Daddies that do right by their families have a day to be celebrated! While it is one of those holidays that occurs during a time when it's easy to forget things (summertime is busy in my house!), try to do at least a little something for those dads in your life! It doesn't even have to be a big gift - just a card that says "thanks for all you do" goes a long way. I plan way ahead. Like, I wait until the Monday after Father's Day and purchase cards on clearance for the following year. This way, I have cards all stocked up without having to take the ridiculously high prices of cards (and fight the crowds, too!). Check out your local Dollar Stores, too. A lot of times, they have 2 cards for $1 after the holiday is over!

We are on a fairly tight budget this year, but I wanted to do something super special (but small and inexpensive) for J. What I try to do when I pick out smaller (but more meaningful) gifts is narrow down specific interests, hobbies, and likes.  J loves to cook (particularly grill). He loves what we call "Man Stores" (Home Depot, Lowes). He loves board games. He loves science fiction shows (enter Dr. Who). So, with that in mind, I began to troll some stores about a month ago.  What I ended up with was this: a grilling cookbook (with tips, stories, and recipes galore) and a Dr. Who magnet, along with the card.

Total, I spent about $10 and some change on Father's Day this year for J. Not a huge chunk of change, but enough to say "Here's something I think you will like. I picked it out just for you."  Other options I came up with (that could apply to all Dads) were:

A nice bottle of wine/new 6-pack of beer:  Not all Dads like alcohol, and I'm not saying it's the perfect gift for everyone.  However, J and my dad have become very interested in broadening their horizons in both wine and beer.  They have been really experimenting with craft beers and exotic wines, but some of these come with a $15-20 price tag.

Time: As simple as it sounds, time can be an incredible gift! It can be time by himself, wandering aisles of Lowe's or Home Depot without trying to keep up with kids, tell you just 5 more minutes, or being asked "Can I go potty" for the millionth time. It could also be quality time with just you (or you and the kids) doing what the he loves to do.  J loves to play board games (and between you and me - I loathe them!), so I promised him an hour of board games tonight after dinner.  While the number of games he owns that I can play (or understand how to play) is limited, it gives him an additional gift of my time doing something that he enjoys.

Small paraphernalia items: magnets, stickers (that can be made into magnets), pens, etc.  I got Josh this magnet (pictured below) for about $3. Super simple, small, and probably unnoticeable to others, but it's something that J will look at and smile because I took the time to think of him and find something that he loves.

Acts of Kindness: You know that to-do list (or honey-do list) you gave him months ago that he hasn't even started to look at? Maybe knock a couple of those items off the list for him! I've been complaining for months that I wanted to personalize our patio a little more. While I didn't do it for Father's Day, I went ahead and did it myself a few weeks ago (Check it out here!). One less thing for J to worry about in the future. Actually, now I think he enjoys sitting outside more (with a glass of wine or a beer) than if he had done it himself!  Also, I hate cleaning the kitchen after meals, but today, I cleaned the kitchen after lunch and dinner.  So simple, right?! But J knows how much I dislike that chore, so he appreciated the effort I made to do something to help him out (despite the fact I would rather clean a bathroom than clean a kitchen).

Small Treats: Maybe your hubby or Dad loves Starbuck's. Or maybe they love a local brewery. Or maybe they even love a local park that charges a small fee for admission. A $5-10 gift card (or I.O.U.) will never be frowned upon or scowled at. It doesn't mean you have to go big, just go thoughtful!

Massage: Whether you have skilled hands or not, your hubby will certainly appreciate a back or neck massage! Something like that can be very personal and a great way to spend a few extra minutes to say "thanks for all that you do!"

I would highly recommend (if you haven't already done this) that you both read the book "The Five Love Languages." It makes your relationship stronger and gift-giving easier! If you know your spouse's love language is quality time, then get him some quality time for his special day! It simplifies your understanding of each other, as well as the gift giving process! Hopefully, while you have another year to plan, this will give you some good, inexpensive gift ideas for next year (or maybe even for Dad or hubby's birthday!).