Stepping Into Stepmom-Dom: Ripping Off the Bandaid

T is obsessed with wearing bandaids now. And not just while there is a scab. He continues to wear a bandaid on the area until the scar has faded! Want my advice?! Go buy stock in Bandaid brand. I'll single-handedly drive up the stock value just from the amount of Bandaids I buy for this kid. I understand the fear associated with taking a bandaid off while a scab is still in place. What if it hurts? What if it bleeds? As a 4 year old, I can see where that could be scary. What I don't get is the fact that he insists a bandaid stays on once the scab is gone. Anyways, we've been working with him on taking off bandaids for bath time. Can you say "lead balloon?" He's not too thrilled with us, and he generally whimpers and whines through bath time. Then he insists on a new bandaid after he is out of the bath. Frus. Trating.

It did make me stop and think the other night about something, though. As adults, we don't generally apply bandaids to our physical wounds (unless they are really bad). We generally have more emotional scars or wounds - that we don't often deal with. We sweep them under the rug and ignore them, saving the problems and monsters in our closet for another day when we have time to deal with them. We do this without realizing what effect this has on our family, our kids, or even our co-workers. We think we can shove emotion down into the corners of our lives and everyone in our life will be none the wiser. Think again. Kids are incredibly intuitive. I have seen many situations personally where children act like their parents are acting - without the parent even realizing it! When T's mom was uncomfortable around me, T picked up on it. And when I was with J during pick-up or drop-off, T was shy and almost anxious or afraid around me. His mom was never outwardly rude to me, but he sensed her discomfort and mimicked it.

Remember: just because you think you have it under control doesn't mean someone else isn't noticing what you are doing. So please, as a parent, friend, coworker, rip the emotional bandaid off. Take some time. Maybe it's after your kids go to bed one night. Forego the laundry or the dishes or whatever else is on your to-do list, and rip the bandaid off. Then let it go (sing with me now, Frozen fans!). You'll be amazed at how much less stressed you will feel. Isn't it amazing what our kids can teach us?

Stepping in to Stepmom-Dom: A Child-Like Disposition

World's Cutest Pilot.

Today is definitely one of those yucky, rainy Saturdays. We live in a town that literally lives on the lake nearby. Seriously. Even our church has a dock for members who want to boat to church when the weather is nice. So finding something to do on such a nasty day is difficult, especially when we have an energetic 4 year old boy on our hands. Enter INK, or Interactive Network for Kids. This is an incredible place with different "settings" for kids to pretend and play in: hospital, vet's office, fire trucks, barns, police cars, airplanes, lemonade stands, trains, grocery store...the list is endless. T had so much fun running around the different areas and playing with different items. He was all over the place at first, trying to decide what he wanted to do, but he quickly found where he wanted to be (and go next). We spent over 2 hours in there, with T running around (and us trying to keep up!) from place to place.

We wrapped up at INK (after 2+ hours of fun) around 12:45, and all three of us were starving. Enter something quick and easy on a rainy day - Chick-fil-a (or as T calls it, "Cow"). We were surprised that it wasn't more packed than it was during peak lunch hours, but we weren't complaining (and we figured it was due to the weather). We sat down to eat our meal, and as J and I were about to take our first bites, T pipes up: "Guys! We have to say the blessing first." This was a proud moment for J and I as we have been really working with T on saying the blessing before we eat at meals. So I followed up his statement with "OK. So who's going to say the blessing?" He points to me. Gulp. I have always been overly sensitive about not doing things in public that could be portrayed as forcing my religion on someone, whether it's as simple as praying or something as big as pushing flyers into people's hands. That's just not me. And now, here I was with the eyes of the most adorable 4 year old staring at me, waiting on me to say the blessing. Well, what's a girl to do?! You know what we did! We all folded our hands, bowed our heads, and I (yes, me!) said the blessing. It was brief and to the point, but nevertheless, I said it.

This got me thinking over lunch about things. How is it that as children, we are so carefree and mindless to what others think of us or our actions? To T, saying the blessing was what we are "supposed to do," whether at home or in public. What is it about today's society that makes us so aware and afraid of what others will think? It made me wish I could go back to that age, just to have that mindset of "I don't care what other people think I am going to wear my tutu to the grocery store!" It certainly was a nice reminder for me that we need to be ourselves fully without being afraid of what others will say or think. Because being me without fear is....nice! So thank you, T for reminding me to have a child-like disposition and opinion of the people around me. Love, Mer.

What's In Your Bag?, Episode 3

Kerri is a very sweet Mommy of three that I met in a Facebook group for planner addicts, such as myself. She sells Origami Owl, which is an adorable way to express yourself with jewelry without a huge price tag! I received one from my mother-in-law for Christmas, and I wear it tons! Check out her site! :) Kerri's husband works long hours, as he is in his LAST year of residency! There's no better person to show off how to stay organized on the go than Kerri! I hope you enjoy, and a very special thanks to Kerri for sharing how she keeps it all together! 

1. The bag: my amazing leather Whipping Post tote. This bag holds everything I need for 3 kids, planner items, and wallet (I have 2 in diapers!).

2. What's in my bag: 
- My Erin Condren
- Louis Vuitton Cluth (carry hair elastics, hand sanitizer and lip gloss)
- My Origami Owl yellow cosmetic pouch (Carries lotion and sunscreen)
- My hot pink Origami Owl business card holder
- Diapers, wipes, change of clothes for each kids
- Briber tools (M&Ms & stickers)
- My In A Pikle (A Mommy Must-Have!)
- Quick snacks squeeze pouches
- Sunglasses
- Sophie, the Teething Giraffe
- Lovie Blanket for my baby

3. I'm obsessed with my Orla Kiely (cosmetic organizer), and I use it to house all my planner goodies! Below shows the inside, which is filled with EC stickers, Post-Its (another must have on the go), pens, labels, and travel washi tape that I wrapped around business cards.

4. My gorgeous EC planner & Nate Berkus pouch (also pictured with the Orla Kiely). I use my planner to balance schedules and crazy family life with 3 babies: Bills, To-Dos, my Origami Owl business (mostly tax info). I love washi tape & stickers.

5. A closer look at the planner! (How sweet is this picture of her 3 kiddos?!)

6. A Monthly View of My EC Planner. I finally came up with a monthly view I enjoy! Just a touch of washi, my husband's schedule, birthdays, and small dot stickers mark when a bill is due. 

Thank you Kerri for taking some time to share how you keep it all together on-the-go! :)

A "Pinteresting" Life: Behavior Chart

J and I have really been struggling to find a consistent means of handling T when he becomes cranky, defiant, etc.  We have tried essentially everything in our arsenal with some limited success.  Enter Pinterest. I had suggested a behavior chart a while ago when I stumbled across an adorable Super Hero-themed behavior chart. J had originally vetoed the idea.  Then we found out that T has a behavior chart at home with his mom. Once we found that out, J was on board with doing a chart of our own for T at our house! While the one I found was originally designed for a classroom, it essentially met our needs for a behavior chart at home (with some minor DIY and tweaking involved, of course!). Here is my inspiration (How adorable, right?!):

T is obsessed with super heroes, so what better way to mark how well (or not so well) he has done that day?! So where to start?! I swung by my local Michael's (Don't worry - I paid cash with the recent card breach that occurred with this company!) and picked up some supplies:

1. Paper. Rather than use 7 colors, I used 6 (Sorry, Indigo - you've been voted off the island).

2. Ribbon. I needed some way to connect each individual piece of paper together. Closer inspection of the original picture revealed it was held together with 1.5-2 inch wide ribbon.

3. Stickers: My handwriting is cute and all, but I wanted some uniformity with all the different "levels."

My supplies that I had to purchase!

I spent several days drawing these little super heroes and cutting them out. I even drew a little T for the green sheet of paper, where he will start off each day. Here are some of the little super heroes I drew.

Then I laid out each piece of paper in the order I wanted to have them hanging (purple on top all the way down to red on the bottom). I cut out the individual sticker letters and laid them out in the general spacing pattern that I wanted to follow, choosing which hero I wanted on each level. I put Batman and Superman on the "Super T" paper (purple) since those are his 2 favorites. It let me play with the spacing of the letters and figure out which super heroes would work and be most visible on each color! Here is the Green Lantern on "Warning!":

Once I had each pice laid out like I wanted, I stuck the stickers down and used rubber cement to glue down the super heroes. Once everything had been stuck down and/or glued down, I wrote a Reward at the top of each page and a Punishment at the bottom of each page, giving T motivation to work hard to improve his behavior, but providing punishment should his behavior warrant it.  It also gives him a visual of how his behavior has been that day (and what he has lost by being ugly). This is how all the pages look once put together:

It's coming together so nicely! I was so excited! Then I laid out the 1.5" wide ribbon to see about how long I would need for my ribbon to be to connect all of them together on one piece.

I then flipped all the pages over, lined them up like I wanted and used hot glue to attach the ribbon to the back of the pages.

Once that was done (and I had let it cool and dry for a few minutes), I used a piece of skinnier ribbon to form a loop at the top. This way we can hang it up in an area that T can see frequently throughout the day. We also wanted to hang it low enough that he could (for the most part) move the clothespin up or down. Once I got the loop of ribbon situation where I wanted it, I doused it in hot glue.

We then hung it up in our downstairs hallway where T runs through frequently, giving it high visibility. This is our final product, and I couldn't be happier! I say it's "our" product as J did help...by hammering the nail into the wall!

Some rewards we discussed (and some of which we used): earning TV time, one additional TV show, earn a toy back (that he lost as punishment), an extra cookie/dessert item after dinner, come out of his room (he has to earn this by apologizing), extra bedtime story..

Some punishments we discussed: 5 minutes in time out, time alone in his room, lose a toy he is playing with, lose TV privileges for the day, go to bed early...

Hopefully this will help you design your own behavior chart! Thanks for stopping by!

Stepping Into Stepmom-Dom: The Right Stuff

If you're of the correct age bracket and you started singing the NKOTB song...I won't judge. I'll even admit that I did it, too! ;)

On a different note, Little T's birthday is today.  Unfortunately, we don't get him on his "real" birthday, but we did get to have him this past weekend.  We talked extensively about what we wanted to get Little T for his birthday.  He's gotten so many nice toys, fun action figures, Fisher Price life-sized toys (grill, work bench, etc.)...and what does he want to play with?! The happy meal toys, the boxes the toys come in, my hair clips, things from the Dollar Store.  You get my drift.  He never plays with the "nice toys" while visiting us.  It's always the cheap-o crap.  We've even started disappearing some toys ... he hasn't noticed. (SHOCKER!)

When it came to his birthday, we wanted to give him something he would enjoy.  BUT we didn't want to add to the crap and clutter that is clearly sitting in an array of some semblance of organized chaos in his room (and all over the house for that matter).  SO - what to give a little soon-to-be four-year-old that doesn't need any more CRAP and certainly doesn't play with the nice toys he has?! We decided that quite possibly the best thing to do was give him the gift of TIME.  Usually when T is here, we are running 90 miles an hour in different directions.  This visit, we decided to slow down and give him a little extra attention.  So what did we do?! We headed off to the Georgia Aquarium for the morning! And the afternoon? We picnicked at a local park (Stone Mountain Park), where he could throw rocks, sticks, and pinecones into the lake/pond.

T checking out some of the fish. NOTE: that is the
actual size of that fish!!!

Broken down into a few more specifics: We met J's sister (who sweetly road tripped in from Birmingham, AL for the day) at the aquarium as the doors opened.  We purchased our tickets ahead of time so that we didn't have to wait in line (I HATE lines).  We headed on in, having our picture taken on the way in in front of a green screen, which would then be transformed into a super-awesome underwater adventure background.  Spoiler Alert: we didn't buy the photo.

Watching the fish with Daddy!

We wandered on in and started looking at all the animals! We got there early enough to see the trainers feeding the animals and having them do tricks for the crowd. My favorites were definitely the otters! T was enamored with the largest tank, which had a moving sidewalk underneath (typical kid: he was more enamored with the moving sidewalk than the fish above his head). We took time to sit in a darkened room, where one wall was entirely acrylic instead of glass (And 10 feet thick!) so you could watch all sorts of sea life swim by: manta rays, stingrays, whale sharks, bottom-feeding sharks, HUGE fish (fish bigger than T!)...you get it!

The thing I love about the aquarium is that there are so many things for KIDS to do! I mean, yes - they have a play center (which we swiftly avoided...), but they have a lot of interactive exhibits and exhibits were the kids can actually PET animals. T pet a stingray, a small shark, sea anemones, and starfish!  I was so proud of him! He's usually very skittish around things that are new and different to him.  He has been to the aquarium before, but I know that touching weird, icky-looking things isn't on the top of his to-do list.  He'll look at it, but don't make him touch it!

T petting the sea anemones!!!

T was EVERYWHERE and LOVING every minute of it! He had mine, J's, and his aunt's undivided attention the whole time! I wish I could just post an entire photo album from our trip to the aquarium, but that would be the longest blog ever! But since that wouldn't be all that thrilling, I'll leave you with this parting shot from our time in the tunnel under a fish tank:

Once we were done in the aquarium, we headed over to the nearest Publix! After grabbing some subs, chips, and drinks, we were off to a park out near where I grew up: Stone Mountain Park.  Yes, if you look it up, it's a Confederate Memorial, BUT it's a huge park with so much to do: putt-putt, walking trails, hiking the mountain, plantation homes to tour, a water mill to watch...you get the drift.  It also has plenty of covered pavilions for picnics! We chowed down on our subs before diving into the delicious cookies that J's sister brought!

T eating lunch with J and Aunt V.

Once we were done with lunch, we walked down to the Grist Mill to check it out.  T enjoyed throwing things into the cascading water (Oh, little boys), and we enjoyed being outside. His personality is so fun to watch (especially as it has really developed in the past year!).  He is becoming more and more like his daddy, which is SO fun as they are both so silly and goofy (See end of blog post for proof!)

T throwing things into the water and
watching them float away.

We had a blast giving him our time, and he definitely had a fun, but exhausting day! He crashed on the way home! We definitely feel like we gave him "the right stuff" for his birthday this year. Next year: I have no clue.  I'm not sure how we are going to top this year's birthday funday. I am SURE I will keep you posted!  I will leave you with just a couple more pictures from our afternoon at the park! 

Being goofy with Daddy on the way to the car.

FINALLY taking a break from throwing things to smile for a pic!

Stepping In To Stepmom-Dom: Small Victories

Another weekend with T, another lesson learned.  This lesson is rather small, but sometimes it's the

Little T rockin' a Clemson Tigers ski hat for my
sister, his "Aunt T."

small things that add up to be the biggest parts of life, right?!

We are constantly struggling to make sure that T gets balanced nutrition while he is with us.  While we cannot control what he eats at his mom's house, we can certainly control what we let him eat when he is with us.  He is certainly one of the pickiest children I've ever met.  He'll eat chicken, but doesn't like red meat (or likes it less than chicken), or pork.  He'll eat his body weight in bacon or sausage, but don't even attempt to give him pork tenderloin.  He (until recently) refused to let new food items sit on his plate, particularly if they were green.  If it was "new," it was taken off his plate and placed onto the (cringe!) glass-top kitchen table.  He'll eat carrots (raw only), but don't give him any green veggies.  *Sigh*  I think you get my drift.  While I'm all for a multi-vitamin (Flinstone's, anyone?!), I am a big proponent of getting the majority of your nutrition through your meals!  I've even pureed cauliflower into "mashed potatoes."

We have gotten into the habit of placing all food items we are eating for dinner on T's plate.  We do not offer him an alternative meal - what we eat is what he eats.  I spoke with a pediatrician at length about the best "plan of attack" for getting kids to try new things.  His response was simple, but oh-so-brilliant:  "Do not force him to try anything new or to eat anything in particular. Do not fix him an alternative meal. Simply feed him what you are eating for that particular meal. Do not introduce many things at one meal. Simply add one new item each dinner time. If he is hungry, he will eat. Kids have a wonderfully ingrained mechanism that won't let them starve. If he is hungry enough, he will try something new."

So while it has been extremely hard, we have followed his advice.  Low and behold, Thomas has been (slowly) adapting and even asking to try new things.  Recently, he has asked to try green beans (which promptly received a disgusted face), cantaloupe (which he promptly spit out after a few chews), hummus (which he devoured like it was his last meal), and mango (which he ate a few bites of but didn't seem too thrilled)...While it seems like a small thing (and to some it may be. Aren't you lucky to have a child that will eat whatever you put in front of them?! I envy you!), these moments have been a huge victory for us!  T has been not only willing to try new foods, but he's also been ASKING to try new foods!

Small Victory this weekend: T asking to try new foods! HUGE success for us! And a GREAT reminder that it's the smallest parts of life that make it so great!