Sunday, July 6, 2014

Stepping In to Stepmom-Dom: New Mom

We had a fairly busy weekend visiting J's family in Alabama for the 4th of July. We haven't been there in quite a few months, so it was nice to visit them and catch up (and let T see his grandparents). They live on a cattle farm, which provides for a lot of entertainment for T that he doesn't usually have while visiting us. Example: riding a golf cart (called "The Workhorse") to feed the cows.

Driving to dinner the first night we were there, T announced (out of the blue): "Mer, you're going to be my new mom soon."  Gulp. Gasp. Shock. Pride. Panic. Don't get me wrong, I have loved acting in a motherly role to T when he has been visiting J, but there's a lot of pressure that comes with the official title of "Mom." I certainly back J up in his parenting decisions, help in the discipline when J hasn't witnessed a misbehavior. However, a minor freak-out ensued after hearing the title of "Mom" attached to me. While T does look a bit like me (although he resembles his Daddy more), and I am quite often mistaken for his mom, I am not sure that I am ready for that title. I'm not perfect and being called Mom is a lot of pressure.

Being "New Mom" or "Mom at Dad's House," even without the title, gives me lots of opportunities to be with T! I mean, who doesn't want to have lots of quality time with this cutie?!
This cutie who insisted we take a selfie in the middle of dinner!
After the panic subsided, and J calmed me down (much later), I realized that whether or not I have the title of "Mom" in T's life, I act in such a role, whether or not I like it (and whether or not I have the official title). Being a mom (or Stepmom) doesn't require me to be perfect. It does, however, require trial and error, patience, time and love. I have plenty of those. And the best part is - I get to be "New Mom" with J as my co-pilot. That couldn't be any better, to me!

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